


think of all the joy you'll find when you leave the world behind

by littleleotas



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Masseffectauweek, Walt Disney World, we just don't know, what is post-first contact tomorrowland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7318267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleleotas/pseuds/littleleotas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/stationlittle/pseuds/stationlittle">stationlittle</a>'s Mass Effect Au Week - Garrus and Shepard take Grunt to Disney World. Featuring: pirate!Grunt, fireworks smooches, and victory Mickey bars. Not featuring: turkey legs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	think of all the joy you'll find when you leave the world behind

**Author's Note:**

> Predicting what the Disney parks will look like five years from now is pretty rough, not to mention what it'll look like in 150 years, so I'm going off what it is now. Not that it wouldn't be super interesting to think about what changes would be made in post-First Contact Earth, it's just. This is fluffy silliness and it ain't the time, you know? So there's my disclaimer on that.

Shepard laughed so hard she doubled over, gasping for air. It was one of those incomprehensible things where you have no idea _how_ something popped into your head but it did and it is the funniest thing you have ever thought of in your whole entire life.

Khalisah stood staring, dumbfounded. She looked at her camera droid and back at Shepard.

“...Commander?”

Shepard wheezed and stood up. “Okay, I'm sorry, okay.” She straightened up. “We can try that again.”

Khalisah paused, and Shepard waved her on.

Khalisah said, hesitantly, “Now that you've defeated the Reapers...what are you going to do next?”

Shepard beamed. “I'm going to Disney World!”

Khalisah clicked her camera off as Shepard dissolved into giggles again.

~-~-~

“So it's a...castle,” Garrus said, squinting at Shepard across the table.

She swallowed a mouthful of noodles. “There _is_ a castle, but there's more there.”

“And which monarchs did this belong to?”

“It didn't.”

“So it's _not_ a castle.”

“It's a fake castle.”

Garrus poked at his food. “This is one of those human things I'm just not gonna get, isn't it?”

Shepard smirked. “What, turians don't do amusement parks?”

“Turians don't do amusement,” he said pointedly.

She smiled. “Lucky I've got a bad turian, then.”

Garrus sighed. “It'll be nice to get away from all of this, anyway.”

Shepard nodded as she took a sip of wine. “We saved the world, we might as well get a chance to enjoy it.”

Garrus reached for her hand and she took his. They sat in contented silence for a few moments before Shepard gasped. “We have to bring Grunt!”

“...okay...”

“Oh he'll love it,” Shepard bounced in her seat. “Besides, I'll need a rollercoaster buddy when you chicken out.”

Garrus flicked his mandibles. “That sounded like a challenge, Shepard.”

Shepard smiled deviously. “I do want to bring Grunt, though. Everyone else will still be busy but I think he'll come.”

Garrus glanced sideways down at the table. “You're sure you wouldn't rather it be just the two of us?”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “We'll get him a separate room.”

~-~-~

Garrus dragged his feet following Shepard and Grunt through the turnstiles at the Magic Kingdom's main gate. “I thought you weren't a morning person, Shepard.”

“I am when there's a train show to catch.”

Grunt bounced on his toes. “I wanna see Stitch.”

“I told you, I can't promise he'll be there, but he might.”

This appeared to be good enough for Grunt, who continued to watch the still empty train station above them intensely.

Shepard turned back to Garrus and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thanks for humouring me, babe.”

“Mm,” Garrus hummed.

The music started and Grunt resumed bouncing. Shepard disentangled herself from Garrus and stepped back up to watch with Grunt.

_”A kingdom full of endless dreams for every girl and booooy, wondrous lands of make believe will fill your heart with joooooy!”_

Garrus grimaced. As if she could read his mind, Shepard turned around and raised an eyebrow at Garrus before turning back to the show. Garrus chuckled and contented himself to watch Shepard and Grunt enjoy their terrible, terrible music.

The train pulled in and characters danced off. “STITCH!” yelled Grunt, waving. Shepard beamed up at him.

As the countdown to opening began, Shepard grabbed Garrus and Grunt's hands. The crowd pressed forward, threatening to pull them apart. Shepard moved slowly forward with the boys in tow.

“On your six,” said Garrus quietly. Shepard turned around and grinned at him.

Exiting the arches below the train station, the crowds seemed to ease up a bit. Grunt dropped Shepard's hand and shielded his eyes from the sun, looking forward down Main Street at the castle. Garrus joined Shepard at her side, keeping her hand in his. She smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. They walked slowly down Main Street, Grunt waving at every cast member on the street wearing oversized white Mickey gloves. The fabricated smell of baking cookies almost tempted Shepard toward a detour, but she reminded herself breakfast before rollercoasters is never a good idea.

“Ooh, wait a second,” Shepard said as they reached the hub. She pulled up her omnitool's camera and positioned herself with the castle in the background. “Lean in, guys.”

Garrus awkwardly leaned down over Shepard's shoulder.

“Ah crap,” said Shepard, suddenly remembering why she never took pictures of herself with Garrus. “Your arms are longer, you'll have to do it.”

Garrus huffed a small laugh and pulled up his own camera. Shepard pressed herself to his chest as he set the timer and put an arm around her. Grunt poked his head over Shepard's free shoulder and grinned.

“Send it to Tali,” said Shepard after the click. “I promised her pictures.”

Garrus dutifully emailed the picture as they walked toward the bridge to the right. A large silver contraption over the walkway signaled the entrance to Tomorrowland. Shepard led them toward the back, around the giant tower of Astro Orbiter, to Space Mountain.

“Is this one of those translator glitches or is this supposed to be a mountain in space?”

“Don't think about it too hard, Garrus.”

“Like...just in space? Not on a planet?”

“Garrus.”

The darkness inside was reminiscent of the Normandy in its Alliance days. Only Cerberus money gets you lightbulbs, apparently. They walked up the ramp past lighted maps of nebulas and star systems. Grunt paused to squint at one. “All this was pre-First Contact,” said Shepard, waving her hand at the maps as she walked by. “You won't be on there.”

Grunt frowned. “Why wouldn't they update them?”

Shepard shrugged.

Garrus bit back a comment about humans liking to pretend they were still the only beings in the galaxy. He knew Shepard never appreciated that, even if he didn't mean it seriously. It _was_ funny, though.

They arrived at the loading station and a little train designed to look like rockets pulled up in front of them.

“What are these supposed to be, Shepard?” said Garrus.

“Rocketships,” said Shepard matter-of-factly as she stepped into her seat in the front of the car.

“What-”

“I _said_ , don't think about it too hard.”

“Heh,” said Grunt from the back seat.

~-~-~

“Let's do that again!!” Grunt bounced out of his seat at the end of the ride.

Garrus extracted himself from his seat gingerly, then turned to give Shepard a hand up. “Let's...not.”

Shepard laughed as she took Garrus's hand. “Told you you'd chicken out.”

“I'm not chickening out. I am taking an appropriate amount of downtime.”

“Sure, if that's what you wanna call it.”

Garrus glared at Shepard. She grinned back. Turning to Grunt, she said, “We'll do it again later. Right now we're gonna do something else.”

Grunt hummed, unconvinced, but led the way toward the moving ramp at the exit anyway.

Shepard led them out and around the tower again to the left.

“What's this?” asked Grunt.

“Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin!”

“Space ranger?” Garrus eyed Shepard.

“If you're going to highlight all the inaccuracies in pre-First Contact Earth this is going to be a _very_ long vacation for you, dear.”

They smirked at each other. “Anyway,” Shepard continued, “You'll like this one. It's a game.”

“I like games,” said Grunt.

“You get a little laser gun and you shoot targets for points.”

“Ahh. A competition,” said Garrus.

Shepard put a hand on her hip. “Bring it, big guy.”

~-~-~

“You cheated,” pouted Garrus.

“I did not cheat. I am just very good,” said Shepard imperiously.

“Heh. You look angry,” said Grunt, pointing to the picture taken on the ride of Garrus and Shepard. Shepard was laughing and Garrus looked focused, his eye over the toy laser gun as if it were a sniper rifle.

“We're going again,” said Garrus.

“Hey, we didn't get to do mine again!”

“We will, Grunt,” said Shepard. “But first, your battlemaster's got a title to uphold.”

“Heh heh heh.”

~-~-~

_Conversation with Tali'Zorah vas Normandy_

08:47: S: [photo attachment]  
08:47: S: This is me kicking Garrus's ass for the fourth time on Buzz Lightyear  
08:49: T: You're not even holding the gun? You're taking a picture  
08:50: T: Why does Garrus look so angry  
08:51: S: Because I stopped to take a picture and still beat him by 160,000  
08:52: T: Play nice, Shepard.  
08:55: S: [photo attachment]  
08:55: S: I made him buy me a victory ice cream  
08:57: T: You're a great girlfriend  
08:57: S: Right??

~-~-~

Shepard bit into her ice cream bar and beamed smugly at Garrus as they walked toward Adventureland. He flicked a stray piece of chocolate off her cheek.

“I'm still not sold on this pirates thing,” he said.

“They're not batarian pirates,” said Shepard.

“They're still pirates,” Garrus responded pointedly.

“Well yeah, but human pirates have a kind of romanticised history.”

“Why?”

Shepard shrugged. “Life on the open sea, no reporting to any superiors, freedom.”

“Except they're murderers and thieves.”

She sighed and looked up at him. “You're not wrong. Just promise me one thing.”

He looked at her.

“No commentary until we get off the ride.”

~-~-~

Shepard firmly planted her feet back on dry land and turned to see Garrus sighing and shaking his head as he stepped out of the boat.

“Okay. Now you can talk.”

“That can't have been historically accurate.”

“It isn't meant to be.”

Grunt hopped out of the boat singing, “Yo ho, yo ho, a piiiirate's liiiife for meeeeee, heh heh heh.”

“It felt like we were supposed to find them funny. Or charming, even.”

“You were.”

“They're pirates! They're not funny or charming! They're _criminals_.”

They rode the ramp up to the gift shop and Grunt headed straight for the plastic swords. He pulled one from a barrel and brandished it at a small human child. “Ha HA!”

Garrus continued, “No wonder you don't fear your pirates. They have no dignity.”

“They were scarier in real life, I'd imagine,” Shepard said thoughtfully, watching Grunt try on eyepatches.

“If they were scary, why that?” Garrus said, gesturing behind him at the ride.

Shepard thought for a second. “Levity?”

Garrus rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling. Shepard stood on her toes and kissed his cheek.

“Shepard!”

They turned to look at Grunt, who was wearing a black pirate captain's hat (tiny on his head) and an eyepatch, holding a plastic sword in one hand and a plastic hook in the other.

“Arrrrrrr!”

Garrus tilted his head to the side. Shepard mocked shock and clasped her hands over her chest. “Oh no! A fearsome pirate! Whatever will I dooooo!”

Grunt laughed and jabbed at her with the sword.

“That hook is impractical,” Garrus pointed out.

Shepard put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

“RAAAAAAAAARGH,” yelled Grunt as he hooked Garrus's cowl.

“Ow,” said Garrus, rubbing at the spot Grunt hit.

“Grunt, what did I say about fighting with Garrus?”

“Not to,” said Grunt, bouncing on his toes and grinning mischievously at Garrus.

“Grunt.”

He sighed and rolled his head to the side. “Fine.” He looked back at Garrus. “I'm sorry.”

“'S'okay.”

Shepard looked apologetically at Garrus, then turned back to Grunt. “Come on. Let's go pay for these before you run out of here like an actual pirate.”

~-~-~

~-~-~

Grunt's main objection to Jungle Cruise was that it lacked sharks, the only Earth animals that matter. The next day, Shepard told him she could fix that problem at Epcot. Grunt skipped down the queue of The Seas with Nemo and Friends ahead of Garrus and Shepard.

“Remember the sharks aren't until after the ride.”

“SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKS!”

“ _After_ the ride.”

Grunt hopped into a clam ride vehicle by himself and Garrus and Shepard shared the one after his. They turned the corner into an artificial coral reef, and the clownfish Marlin's voice came from their left.

_“Nemo! I am not going to lose you again!”_

Garrus's eyes widened. He leaned over and whispered to Shepard, “What am I missing?”

“Oh,” said Shepard, “It's an old movie, _Finding Nemo_. Marlin, that's the dad, his son Nemo gets taken away and Marlin travels the ocean to get him back.”

“Oh,” said Garrus softly. Shepard squeezed his hand.

He looked at her for a long moment. The jellyfish forest illuminated her face in purple. “They look just like my Belan jellyfish.” She smiled and looked up at him, and her smile dropped as she noticed his gaze. “You okay?”

He paused. He whispered, his voice hoarse and low, “I'm glad I didn't lose you.”

The scene darkened and she put a hand on his leg, pushing herself up to kiss him.

At the end of the ride, Grunt gasped as they turned a corner and saw the Finding Nemo characters inside the aquarium with real animals. Including-

“SHARKS!”

Grunt beamed, pointing excitedly behind Crush and Squirt at the sharks gliding through the tank.

Shepard leaned forward to look at Grunt. “Told you.”

Grunt barreled out of his clam and up the stairs to the aquarium viewing deck as soon as the door opened. Garrus and Shepard followed, and when they made it to the top they found Grunt with his face and hands pressed against the aquarium glass, staring at sharks.

“Why don't they eat the fish?” Grunt asked, not moving his face from the glass.

“They're fed enough that they won't bother the other animals in their tank,” said Shepard.

“That's no fun.”

“It is for the fish.”

“I wanna see a shark tear a fish open.”

“That's not gonna happen, Grunt.”

Grunt turned around and scowled at Shepard.

Shepard shrugged. “Any sharks you see in captivity aren't gonna be vicious like that.”

“Well what's the point, then?”

“We can go somewhere else-”

“No,” he said, pressing his face back to the glass.

~-~-~

~-~-~

“I miss our old elevator chats.”

“This isn't that kind of elevator, Garrus.”

The three of them were walking up Sunset Boulevard at Hollywood Studios toward the Tower of Terror. The elevator doors at the top of the tower opened and loud, high-pitched screams echoed down to where they walked.

Garrus narrowed his eyes at Shepard. “I'm going to hate this, aren't I?”

Shepard smiled sweetly. “Chickening out?”

Garrus made a low indistinct growling noise.

They sat down in the elevator and buckled in. “Shepard,” said Garrus, “Do humans have elevators with seats?”

“Not aside from this one, no.”

“Hm.”

“I told you, it's not that kind of elevator.”

The elevator shaft went dark and Rod Serling's voice spoke, _“You are the passengers on a most uncommon elevator-”_

“See,” whispered Shepard.

Garrus whispered back, “One time at C-Sec I got a complaint about an elevator in the wards-”

Lightning flashed and the Tower's ghosts beckoned them to join them in limbo.

“-getting stuck between floors and the executor was mad at me for some reason or another-”

_”One stormy night long ago, five people stepped through the door of an elevator and into a nightmare.”_

“-so he made me go investigate it and it turned out some salarian kids were messing with the cables-”

_”You are about to discover what lies beyond the fifth dimension, beyond the deepest, darkest corner of your imagination...in the Tower of Terror.”_

“-trying to get the elevator to go up and down at rando- AAAAAAAAH!”

Shepard laughed so hard her stomach hurt for an hour afterwards. Wiping tears from her eyes as they exited the elevator, she said to Garrus, still chuckling slightly, “So, was that what the salarian kids were trying to do?”

Garrus frowned at her and walked ahead of her and Grunt. Shepard collapsed in giggles again, leaning on Grunt's arm. “Oh. I need to buy that picture.”

~-~-~

~-~-~

Grunt stopped in the walkway in front of the giant brontosaurus skeleton bridge.

Noticing Grunt had fallen out of step with them, Shepard and Garrus stopped and turned around. “Grunt, come on, our Fastpass window ends in 10 minutes,” said Shepard, shielding her eyes from the sun.

Grunt stared up. “Shepard. It's a dinosaur.”

She walked back and took his hand, dragging him forward. “You'll like the dinosaurs we're gonna see in a minute even more. Come on.”

“Are they real?”

“They went extinct a long time ago,” she said, speeding up her walk. The boys hurried to match her pace.

“Can we bring them back?” asked Grunt.

“That's a bad idea,” Shepard replied.

“But can we?”

“There are entire movies showing why we shouldn't.”

“So we can.”

She turned to glare at him over her shoulder as she kept walking.

They arrived at Dinosaur just in time, shuffling slowly through the line while catching their breath. Turning the corner into the rotunda, Grunt inhaled slowly at the sight of the carnotaurus skeleton.

“Shepard!”

“No.”

“Aw you're no fun.”

“I'm lots of fun! I'm just not going to let you bring back a gigantic killing machine.”

Grunt looked up sadly at the skeleton. “No fun,” he repeated softly.

“Taking him on this ride might not have been a great idea if you weren't planning to resurrect a dinosaur for him,” said Garrus.

Shepard glared at him.

Grunt laughed happily all through the ride. Everyone else in their vehicle screamed in horror, barely drowning out Grunt's repeated pleas for a carnotaurus of his own. He skipped out of the ride building ahead of Garrus and Shepard.

“You know,” said Garrus, “Maybe if the Reapers come back-”

“Bite your tongue,” said Shepard, shaking her head.

“-we could get a whole herd of those things for Grunt. Brand new Aralakh Company. What do you think, Grunt?”

“Heh. You're alright, Garrus.”

~-~-~

~-~-~

On their last day, they went back to the Magic Kingdom. Near the end of the day, they went to the Main Street Bakery, grabbed some drinks and cookies, and walked toward the train station as the sun set and the lights on Main Street flickered on. Shepard sipped her coffee and leaned her head against Garrus's arm as they strolled down the street.

They made their way up to the train station and found a table and some chairs vacant. Grunt pulled it up to the railing and they settled in. Garrus and Shepard put their chairs close next to each other on one side of the table, and Grunt took an adjacent side.

Shepard hummed contentedly looking at Main Street all lit up. Grunt peered over the railing and watched people passing below them. Garrus took a sip of his drink. The announcement that fireworks were five minutes away blared over a nearby loudspeaker.

Shepard looked at Garrus and put a hand on his thigh. He covered her hand with his own. “Had fun?” he asked.

She nodded drowsily. “You?”

“With you? Always.”

She smiled and leaned into his shoulder. “You nerd.”

They sat quietly for a moment. Grunt dropped a balled-up napkin on an unsuspecting asari below, then leaned out of sight. “Heh heh.”

Garrus leaned his cheek on the top of Shepard's head. “I have, though. More than I expected to.”

“Mm,” she hummed as she re-positioned her head on his shoulder.

“We should do things like this more often. Getting out and seeing the galaxy we saved.”

“I'd like that.”

He picked his arm up and put it around her. “I never thought we'd have this.”

“What?”

“Time.”

They held each other closer as the lights dimmed in preparation for fireworks.

The castle was illuminated, changing colours a few times, then dimming to dark blue, covered in sparkling lights. A voice came in over the loudspeaker.

_”When stars are born, they possess a gift or two. One of them is this: they have the power to make a wish come true.”_

The three of them along with the rest of the crowd gasped as the first fireworks burst over the castle. Shepard straightened up to watch, though Garrus kept his arm around her. Shepard sang along with the song, very softly. “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you...”

Garrus watched her face, illuminated by the fireworks she wouldn't take her eyes off. It was a very human sentiment, that you can have anything just by wanting it, he thought. That might be how she did everything she did, though. It was a joint effort that drove the Reapers back, to be sure, but without Shepard there to do the impossible in the face of everyone telling her she couldn't, well. He wouldn't be here watching his girlfriend sing stupid human songs.

“Heh,” said Grunt, watching the explosions in the sky becoming more and more frequent and colourful. “This is what I like about humans. Blowing things up for fun.”

Shepard giggled. “That's what Tuchanka needs. Fireworks shows.”

“Hasn't Tuchanka had enough blown up?” asked Garrus.

“Hm. It's like he's trying to say something,” said Grunt.

Shepard shook her head, smiling. “Those are my favourites,” she said, pointing to the golden fireworks with slowly dripping sparkling trails.

_”Like a bolt out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you through, when you wish upon a star your dreams...come...true...”_

The sky was nearly bright as day with the multitudes of fireworks set off at once for the finale. Around them the crowd cheered and yelled as the lights slowly faded away. Shepard looked up at Garrus in the fading light and put a hand to his cheek. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, as he leaned down to kiss her.

Grunt sighed loudly. “Disgusting.”

“You should see what I'm gonna do to her later.”

“Garrus!” Shepard exclaimed.

“Mmhm. Later,” he growled.

“Ughhhh,” said Grunt, as he got up and headed down the train station stairs.

~-~-~

~-~-~

Shepard's phone rang from the study. “Shit,” she said, stirring the soup on the stove. “Garrus, can you get that?”

“Yeah,” he yelled back from the living room. He went to the study and picked up the phone, talking for a few minutes. Once Shepard finished her food and turned off the heat, she grabbed a hand towel and wiped her hands off while heading into the study. She caught the tail end of Garrus's conversation.

“-be a good idea for a Normandy reunion, that kind of thing.”

“Hm?” said Shepard.

“Oh, she's here. I'll hand you over.” Garrus handed her the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Lola.”

“James!”

“Scars was just telling me we need to get the gang together for a trip.”

“Oh that's a great idea,” she said, turning to smile at Garrus.

“Apparently there's some laser gun game I need to kick your ass at.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Garrus wants to bring the whole crew together just to find someone who can beat me.”

“Damn, you really must've beaten him good.”

“We don't like to talk about that in polite company.”

“Augh. I walked into that one.”

“Yup.”

James laughed. “You doing okay though, Lola?”

“Yeah, James. Everything's good. How's N7 training treating you?”

“Is it normal to not be able to feel my legs?”

“Yup.”

“Then everything's good.”

She laughed. “Well let me know when you get feeling back in them. I'll let you lose to me at Buzz Lightyear.”

“Can't wait.”

“Take care, Vega.”

“You too, Commander.”

After hanging up the phone, she looked at Garrus. “So. Enjoyed it enough to be talking about going again?”

Garrus shrugged.

“Don't worry,” she said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I won't make you tell me I was right.”

He shook his head, and she laughed as she left the room.

“Thank you,” he muttered quietly.

 

~-~-~

~-~-~

~-~-~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as ever to my husband, the real-life Garrus, for insight into Garrus's silly head. No one beta'ed this so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> The file name of this fic on my computer was "Grunt gets churros" but not once did I manage to work in Grunt getting churros. I just felt you should share the mental image of Grunt running around Frontierland with fists full of churros. You are welcome.


End file.
